honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's blow job season.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
