Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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