I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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