i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
