I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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