some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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