So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
