I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
