i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
