What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
