I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
