How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
