Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
