"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Can Purell be used as lube?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize