She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
