this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
