Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
