I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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