Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
