Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
