Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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