Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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