Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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