I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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