Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
