if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
