i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
