it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
