Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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