We're like a lot better than the average bears
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
