watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
3 2 1 whiskey
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
