Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
