I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
