Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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