Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
