Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The air taste purple.
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