you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
