I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
