It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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