my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm getting married
To pizza
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
