Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did I show you my penis last night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize