I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
