If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
