I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
