roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
