Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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