the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
