I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize