Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize