Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
