she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
