Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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