I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
