i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize