You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there's paper in my vomit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize