did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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