Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i drank out of a bidet.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
