If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
