highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize