I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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