duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
