this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
