you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
