He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
