I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
